Asked for her five best parenting tips, Leah Marcus, Director of Youth Mental Health Services at Jewish Family Service, immediately said, “Be patient. And after that, pause, pause, pause, pause.” She smiled. “Parenting through big emotions is hard. One thing that really helps is staying calm instead of matching a child’s intensity. That’s a skill parents can learn and build over time alongside their children.”

We sat down to talk with Marcus in her office, which is sprinkled with colorful toys and cheerful posters, in honor of Mental Health Awareness Month, which is celebrated every May. Marcus is a licensed independent social worker (LISW), and was recently named co-facilitator for HEY! Cincinnati’s Community and Caregiver Cohort, a youth-centered collaborative improving mental health and well-being for young people across Greater Cincinnati.  


Marcus was happy to share a few practical insights:

Number 1: Be patient.  “If your child is struggling or overwhelmed, one of the most helpful things a parent can do is pause,” said Marcus. “Children are still learning how to manage big feelings. Taking a moment before responding gives everyone a chance to reset. You’re modeling a calm response and teaching your child: ‘I’m taking a minute. I’m going to let you do what you have to do, and then we’re going to talk about what happened when we’re both calm.’”

Remember, said Marcus, your child didn’t wake up wanting to snap at you or refuse to cooperate. “There’s something else going on. And the situation doesn’t have to be solved or corrected at that moment—it can wait. So, be patient.”

Number 2: Remember, you are their example. Marcus said, “Everyone makes mistakes, right? Including adults. If you handle something poorly, it’s okay to acknowledge it. Children learn a lot from seeing adults take responsibility and try again. You're their benchmark. So be a good benchmark.”

Number 3: It will work itself out. “Parents can put a lot of pressure on themselves when a child isn’t doing something exactly as expected,” said Marcus. “Sometimes it helps to zoom out and remember that many of these phases are temporary and tend to work themselves out over time.”

Number 4: Your child needs to be part of the solution. “An adult may be able to think of many ways to solve a problem, but their child still needs to be part of the conversation,” said Marcus. “Sometimes it takes time and discussion to understand what’s really going on—whether the expectation is too difficult, or they don’t fully understand the reason behind the expectation.”

Marcus offered an example: “It can be something simple, like children arguing about where they sit in a car. One child doesn’t want to sit in the back, or doesn’t want to be next to a sibling. On the surface, it can look like unkindness. But when you slow down and talk with your child, parents often find there’s a different reason underneath—like not wanting to wait outside longer.”

Number 5: Handle power struggles with care. In Marcus’s view, it is valuable to create structures that work for your child and who they are, not ones focused on convenience. It’s a way to set your child up for success. “As children get older and go through different developmental phases, that sense of autonomy and independence comes forward,” she said. “And that is a fresh, wonderful, crazy time.”

Marcus offered an example: “The parent says, ‘I get it, you want independence. But when you were given the option of what to eat for dinner, you chose candy.’ So the idea of creating structure for a child to be successful, while also allowing freedom, is a really hard balance. Children respond well to someone who gives them autonomy and choice—but within a set of options that parents feel good about.”

Bonus tip: Give grace. Marcus guides her staff to give children grace. “We believe that children do well when they can, not when they want to,” said Marcus. But she also emphasizes giving yourself grace: “You can have four children and a lot of experience, but each child is totally different, and you have to find a different way each time.”

About Youth Mental Health Services


Launched in 2021, Jewish Family Service’s Youth Mental Health Program provides counseling, school- and camp-based counseling, and consultation and collaboration with parents and school professionals. The program is supported by both the Jewish Foundation of Cincinnati and the Jewish Federation of Cincinnati.

Jewish Family Service’s Youth Mental Health Services offer a unique value to Cincinnati’s Jewish community by embedding therapists in the places where Jewish children already are: at Jewish schools and camps. This approach increases access to mental health care, counseling, and consultation services for children and professionals in those settings. JFS’s Youth Mental Health therapist are currently embedded at Rockwern Academy, Cincinnati Hebrew Day School, Ohr Torah Cincinnati, Adath Israel Synagogue religious school, Shelanu, Cincinnati Hillel, and Camp at the J.

If you'd like more information about Youth Mental Health Services, please visit our Youth Mental Health Services page.